Mindfulness is one of the 4 skill domains in Dialectical and Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and it is foundational for the other domains (interpersonal relationship skill, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance). Mindfulness has been described by Jon Kabat-Zinn as a form of non-judgmental, purposeful attention in the present moments (i.e., WHAT is done in mindfulness). Shawna Shapiro adds kindness to her description, and this make a big difference. Dr. Shapiro points out that the quality of HOW we pay attention matters because “What we practice will grow stronger.” Therefore, we want to be careful how we practice as to avoid getting better at judging, worrying, impatience, and the like. Practicing mindfulness with kindness means engaging with curiosity, patience, validation, honesty, compassion, etc.
A 2010 Harvard study (Wandering mind not a happy mind — Harvard Gazette) found that we are distracted from the present moment about 47% of the time. While we are not looking to be mindfully aware 100% of the time, it does increase our capacity to live more fully and positions us to successfully make changes.
What happens when we are not mindfully present in the moment? Then we are likely ruminating about the past or future (i.e., regrets, “What if…?”), neither of which will result in change. Instead, I encourage you to give your legitimate concerns focused attention (e.g., understanding, organizing, brainstorming, planning, prioritizing) rather than let them linger in the background and slowly contributing to your chronic stress. When we are not being intentional about what we are thinking, we are likely on ‘Autopilot.’ In other words, using parts of the brain that work from scripts or patterns. If you have gained sufficient repetition for particular thoughts or actions your brain will continue to play these ‘scripts’ when triggered (e.g., time of day, situation, people, physical sensation, emotion, etc.). Being on autopilot is fine if those patterns serve you, so let’s start making the thoughts and behaviors you want to experience more be your default mode of operating!
From a therapeutic standpoint, mindfulness has the following benefits:
- Growing our capacity for a kind and accurate perspective toward ourselves and others.
- Being more aware of our thoughts, emotions, physiology, and actions/urges means we can intervene early and effectively if they start to become excitable or too intense.
- Increases attention and focus.
- Ultimately, when we are mindfully aware of the moment, we can manage from a place of ‘Self Lead Energy” and our thoughts and behaviors will align with our values and goals.
A formal mindfulness practice is intentionally setting time to engage in a devoted mindfulness routine for the sake of improving this skill. Consider the difference between physical activity (can be accomplished through chores, walks, dance, stairs) and an exercise program (i.e., dedicated time to work on physical strength, conditioning, endurance).
An informal mindfulness practice refers to engaging in activities of daily living with mindful awareness (e.g., while walking, washing dishes, eating).
Guided Meditations are a gift. It is just easier to focus and engage the practice when someone else is verbally guiding us. I like Insight Timer – #1 Free Meditation App for Sleep, Relax & More app for its over 4,000 free guided medication recordings.
How to practice mindfulness meditation: Consider the vast range your brain can explore when not in focus. Now, consider narrowing that bandwidth to capture only the things you’re willing to focus on in this moment (e.g., things your senses can detect). Anytime your thoughts deviate from the intentional focus you just bring it back gently (without judgment, denial, or rejection). Getting better at mindfulness means you can notice and return your attention to the designated content more quickly and easily once it strays (the goal is not to eliminate distraction, that is not possible).
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