Our dear friends were visiting the property early last summer and left behind a copy of Katherine May’s book The Electricity in Every Living Thing. Her ability to tell a story really drew me in, and as a psychologist I was intrigued by her plight. She is a prolific journalist and has a podcast How We Live Now. I’ve read three of her books: The Electricity in Every Living Thing, Wintering, and most recently Enchantment.

I would like to focus on Wintering today. The concept of ‘Wintering,’ as I understand it from Mrs. May’s book, feels like old wisdom that has been lost but now rediscovered. I’m not exactly sure if this is a European cultural norm or something she learned through her own lived experience, but it does not feel like any wisdom I have experienced as an American living in the U.S.

Wisdom always has a balanced hand, provides a broad and encompassing perspective, and is reflected in our thoughts and actions. Living from a place of wisdom shows up in our ability to prioritize that which we hold dear, including ourselves. When we waiver from our wise selves we tend to overfocus on things we “should” have or do. We take a myopic view of our shortcomings. Productivity and advancement lure us away from restorations and connection.

In her book, Katherine shares her hard-earned wisdom about the rhythms of life, the highs and lows, and everything between. She introduces the reader to the practice of contracting, going within, listening, and most of all providing oneself with the opportunity to rest and restore. This isn’t a self-help book with a list of self-care or self-soothing activities, although those can be very helpful if you are still figuring out what ‘charges your battery.’ Rather, she allows you to learn with her as she teaches her son the secrets to navigating these often misunderstood and challenging moments of our lives.

For my part, it has reinforced my commitment to charging my own ‘battery,’ to linger or marinate in the sweet moments of life (e.g., sunbathing in a hammock swing and staring into the lake, the last 5 minutes of yoga, snuggling with a loved one or pet) for as long as possible…not rushing it like I feel compelled to do by some inner voice whose origin has long since been lost.

An interesting note about Katherine May; she learned she was on the autism spectrum later in life as an adult. Her story is one of learning about autism, acceptance of the diagnosis, and finding ways big and small to allow her to take advantage of the best of this self-knowledge and share it with the world. There is still much stigma and significant misunderstanding about the nature of autism, especially its presence in adult women. I appreciate how Mrs. May models a curious perspective, tells her story with honesty, and allows these truths she reveals about herself to support change that actually meets her needs. Maybe this can work for the rest of us too! Thank you Katherine May.